Haze

Yesterday was quite a day. The night before last, I didn't sleep... that is until 6 am. Then I had to wake up at 7 to get my son ready for school, dropped him off and ran back home to sleep some more. I got up at 10:30 but by that time I took a bath, got myself and my daughter ready and picked up my son from school because they had early out. We suspected within the last month that my dd needed glasses because she was getting headaches towards the end of school. I finally took her in to the optometrist last week and she indeed needed glasses. Oddly enough, she was excited and the doctor's office called a few days ago to say they were ready. Well, I live in a small town so the optometrist we saw is in another town about an hour away and we needed to drive there to pick them up. Driving out of town with kids is always tons of fun... NOT! It ended up taking me 2 hours to get out of town. By the time we got over to the other town got glasses and visited a Hobby Lobby and got back it was like 6. My dd & ds both drove me nuts with their talking and their incessant need to say "mommy" before each sentence.
When we finally got home, I decided to take a pill that they prescribed to me for insomnia and would supposedly also help with my anxiety. I've taken it a few times and I never have felt right, so I decided to take half a pill last night. It definitely did it's job of putting me to sleep but the next day I'm always groggy. To make matters worse, I have also noticed that I'm more anxious instead of less and it give me crazy munchies! Next week when I go back to my head doctor, I'm going to let them know. The doctor said that it is a much better drug than xanax but after taking it I feel like I need a xanax.
After my dad passed away and my mom started dating her boyfriend (just a few months after my dad's death), I go really depressed and gained about 20 lbs over a summer. I moved states and made my husband quit his dream job (something that still affects both of us now) just so we could move in with my mother who was already depressed before the sudden death of my father because they had become empty nesters when my sisters moved to college. Being the other child that had the ability to get up and move, I felt it best for her mental heath that we move in with her. My dh and I are both the oldest and have always said that when our parents needed us that we would be there for them. When my mom was asked out on a date, I actually pushed her to get out there so that she wouldn't turn into one of those ladies who never looked for companionship and were 75, alone & miserable. She was only 47 when she became a widow. Backing up a bit, when my father passed my mom had a loooong line of men that showed up at her office to give her their personal condolences and a "shoulder to cry on." She couldn't see through their guise but I could. When I found out that the man she was dating was one of them I FLIPPED. Within a few short months, I went from being the super daughter who left everything to take care of her, to an adult daughter who should not need her mommy anymore. She was rarely at home and made us feel like we were intruding because by us being there she wasn't there. To this day she really has hurt my feelings. We lived there for almost 2 years. Two weeks before we moved out, I reminded her on a daily basis that we would be moving out of state and she would no longer see her grandchildren on a daily basis. But even then, she would only get home like at 8:30 and see the kids for 30 minutes before they fell asleep. To think of it really riles up bad feelings. But that's the back story on why I gained so much weight and why after finally losing it, I cannot afford to gain it back again.

Summary: Don't make permanent changes for temporary problems and not all prescriptions work the way they should.